More than a month...

Feeling like one is trying to survive a creative drought can really drain and depress many people. I know I'm in the thick of it, so here I find myself posting for the first time in over a month. Why does that make me feel shitty? Who knows. It feels as if I was avoiding work or skipping class. But I know some things take time. Ideas are essential for the creative process. And they need the time to nurture and grow in the mind before they are seeded on paper. More often then not, an idea prematurely executed will frustrate the hell out of me and cause me to give up. And that's the key, isn't it? Not to give up.

The Carnie Chronicles: People I Work With or I'm going to start a I HATE SOCCER Club

I'm amazed that our Ops Manager can draw any conversation into his gravitational pull, revolve it around soccer, and make the conversation last for hours even though he is the only one talking. One day one of us will either just flat out tell him we don't care for his sport or end up punching him in the mouth. I'm betting on the latter. I hate soccer.

The Carnie Chronicles:Bob Seger and Bad Coffee

Driving is and will always be 85 % of this job. To get the work, one has to be willing to travel. Not every client is right next door, although when those jobs pop up they seem to be a treat rather then a chore. Last night I found myself driving three and half hours to Rowan University. Rowan is located in southern Jersey off exit 2 of the NJTurnpike. What town it's located in I don't remember and I'm too tired and lazy right now to look it up. If I do recall though it rhymed with East Bumblefuck.
Well I delivered two potter's wheels and some clay to their student center and facilitated an event from 9pm to 1am. The event is called Play with Real Clay. This was the first time we were onsite using the item, and while the school was happy with the product and everything went well, quite frankly I hate Mexico for this little export. There's nothing really special about it. It's two potter's wheels that the kids come up too and I give them clay that they mold into a pot. They let it dry then take it home. Simple? Fuck no. It consists of me kneading 100 lbs of clay and teaching 100 people how to use a potter's wheel 100 times. And its a mess. This is not why I'm writing today though. I needed to get that off my chest though.

The late nights on the road become a blur after awhile. Lights and sign become star lines in tired eyes and the only thing that keeps me awake is bad coffee, overplayed classic rock, and the occasional conversation with the co-pilot. I have a lot of time to consider things late at night. It's relatively quite in the van as I speed down the highway. Lots of time to think. There are four things that will definitely happen.
1) Three songs will be heard on the radio-Bob Seger's Turn the Page, something from Dark Side of the Moon, and Dire Strait's Sultan's of Swing
2)I will never find a Dunkin' Donuts when I need one. I will be forced to drink coffee from a highway truck stop. Sweet Goodness!
3)The conversation with the co-pilot will never occur. They will inevitably fall asleep and leave me to my own thoughts. This is not always a bad thing though. I'm a better driver tired than most on a full night's sleep. Don't get me wrong I do know when too much is too much.
4)I will greet the morning as I did the morning before. Saying 'hello' to the sun, although unlike yesterday instead of going to work I will be going home. This means 24 hr work days sometimes.
But like clock work, these four things happen.

The Carnie Chronicles:Life with the Party People

It was my first summer home from college and I needed a job until September. A friend of a friend of a friend knew someone who had this small business out of Milford. It was an entertainment company that featured inflatable rides, djs, and portable drive-in movie systems. So I drove out to a little garage unit in a small industrial park off exit 40. I actually wore a tie, I hadn't really ever had to interview for a job, so I thought it important to be presentable. This ws the summer of '96.

My first job was a post prom in Rhode Island. A bunch of us drove out there to a school's lock in for the night and entertained the kids with a velcro wall, sumo wrestling suites, and a human foosball arena. It was fun stuff and I thought I was good at facilitating the events. I stuck with it for the summer and started drawing caricatures for them for extra money. That summer it was a good job. I should have left on a high note.

Giant Transforming 80's Cartoons

We've been hit with a number of films these past few years that are either re-makes, 're-imaginings,' based on previous formats, or plain ol' sequels. A great many of these movies are sub-par, while most are horrible. A handful of them are good if not great movies.
I read a great many message boards and the director who takes a great many punches seems to be Michael Bay. But does he really deserve it? He hasn't made any movie that was ever meant to be thought provoking drama. He makes popcorn movies. Transformers is his latest incarnation that pissed off too many people, but at the same time entertained those same people and more.

Being a child of the eighties, I grew up watching the cartoon every day after school. It was a ritual that happened for at least three years. The animated cartoon filled in the longing for that cartoon up until the series was available on DVD and then I found out what a horribly cool cartoon it really was. Sub par plots animated with some skill, it was my first real exposure to Japanese animation. As a child, the cartoon was cool, the toys were cool. Older, the toys were cool, the characters were even cooler.
Then I find myself unwilling to let go of the characters of my youth...even at thirty. I still buy the toys and sit there and transform them. I go to websites to get the first glimpse of new toys to be released. I read the comics that seem to be telling the stories that I remember but never really saw. And then the movie is announced. Michael Bay is directing and Spielberg is producing. Then the message boards ignite. The movie is being bad mouthed and bashed before a single frame of footage is not just seen but shot entirely. The designs of the robots are 'leaked' and all hell broke loose. I've never seen quite a fury about giant fucking robots the way the fans voiced themselves.
I had issues with the designs. Were they valid? In my mind my issues were valid. It seemed to me that no one really looked at these characters when designing them. They just did not fit my memories. It occurred to me though that they were really looking at the characters, and really understanding what the original designs would look like in real life. And you know what, if you get past the whole idea of intelligent robots who are involved in an intergalactic civil war coming to earth and befriending humans to help in their cause, if you really get past that and buy into the idea of said robots transforming into cars and tanks and such, the original character designs look stupid in real life. So guess what? They redesigned them and they fit in the story.
Was the plot weak? Well, it wasn't Nobel Prize winning literature. What it was was a pop corn movie plot, accessible to anyone and everyone. What it was was an amusement ride that was a blast. Those who seem to be very critical of it should never have seen it to begin with. It would never had lived up to their expectations. In the end, its a movie about giant fucking robots nothing more nothing less. Still I here no one badmouthing Robot Jocks.(Look that one on IMDB)
To be continued....

New York Minute

It all started with a suggestion. Red and my step mom were discussing Red going into nursing school and the subject of money being tight when that happened. Her hours at work would be cut and so her pay would be also. My stepmom suggested that we move back in with my dad and her while Red was in school. Everyone thought it was a wonderful idea. Let's make something clear. I was not involved or really present in or for these discussions.

Red approached me with the idea when we arrived home to out apartment. I remember it clearly as we both sat outside as we had a cigarette before going inside. She said that my parents had invited us to move in while she was in school so we could save some money and her commute to school wouldn't be quite so bad. My response was that she was out of her mind. And in no way was I moving back in with them for a, I think, third time. I told her she was out of her mind and that she really didn't know them. That they were crazy people. Anything except moving back in with them.

In the end she was accepted into nursing school and it really made sense to move in with them. So we did. I had spent a year avoiding my family. Not that I didn't like my family, but I just needed some time apart. Now I find myself in the thick of it. Red now knows what I meant a year ago when I told her no to the idea. She just doesn't feel as strongly about it as I do.

To live with your family and see them everyday is a reminder of where you came from and quite possibly a preview of what is in store for you in the future. I love them to death, but I would move away in a New York minute.

Things Have Changed

Everyday, as I drive into work, I listen to the same song. Dylan's 'Things Have Changed.'

It's because I hate where and what I do for work. Working for a "novelty entertainment company" seemed like a whole lotta goodness when I was in collage, but now, 'things have changed.' I'm not excited about this any more and in fact I wish I had balls enough to move on. You know how it is though. Job market, economy,...there's always something that keeps me from changing my lot in life. And believe me sir, I do know that it was me and me alone that tossed those dice to get me to where I am or am not today.

There is one redeeming thing in this office and it is Red. She is the one that I will marry one day in the far off distant future of 2010, and she is the only thing that keeps me here. Unfortunately, she's leaving soon venturing into the medical field. And I'm not so sure how long I'll be sticking around. We met here at work and while I've known her for about 6 years, we've dated for only 3. Our courtship is a fable for another day.

But back to my point. I need to change my commute song. And I think I found it. "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. It sums up everything I feel about here in a few short lines.

I've been roaming around
Always looking down
At all I see

Painted faces
Fill the places
I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you
And all you know
And how you speak
Countless lovers
Under cover
Of the Street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night
While you live it up
I'm off to sleep
Waging wars
To shake the poet
And the beat

I hope its going to make you notice
I hope its going to make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me

I've been roaming around
Always looking down
At all I see